Blending In While Wearing Out: The Reasons (and Costs) of Masking

Masking means disguising one’s true self to better fit in with others around you. It’s a human adaptation designed to navigate social situations of all sorts.  Autistic people do this as a means for survival and it can be harmful to their well-being.

Camouflage has served human beings for ages. Wearing materials with natural colors and textures, our ancestors blended into the background of their environments to stay safe from predators and get their needs met. Now, in our modern society, we do not often find ourselves having to camouflage to hide from a runaway rhinoceros or hunt for our survival. However, a different form of camouflage is used by many neurodivergent people in our society (people with neurotypes seen as different than the norm, such as autism and ADHD). Neurodivergents may find themselves frequently camouflaging, or “masking” their identities to avoid very real threats to their social, physical, and economic safety.

Masking is a complicated concept that brings up many questions from neurotypicals and neurodivergents alike. To learn more about this important and complex topic, continue reading the first of our three-part series on masking.

What is Masking?

Masking is a strategy that helps a person hide or disguise parts of themselves in order to connect and fit in with others. According to researcher Dr. Hannah Belcher, all humans develop this unconscious strategy for social survival, choosing what they wish to reveal about themselves that will promote the chance they will be accepted by those around them. 

However, masking is much more ingrained and therefore much more harmful to the health and well-being of neurodivergent people. In a society designed for neurotypical people, neurodivergent people such as autistics have often been ostracized for traits and behaviors others think are "weird," such as stimming, being intensely interested in one or more topics, and having different methods and understandings of socializing. In order to survive socially and avoid other risks to their well-being, neurodivergent people may mimic others' body language and gestures, script conversations in order to practice speaking like the neurotypicals around them, bear with intensely unpleasant sensory experiences like loud noises, and suppress or disguise stimming behaviors. 

Another distinction is that neurodivergent people may mask much more frequently than neurotypical people. While a neurotypical person may increase their self-monitoring in certain situations, such as dinners with their in-laws or meetings with their boss, neurodivergent people may find themselves masking for entire work or school days and return home exhausted. Even knowing when one is masking can be mystifying for a neurodivergent person, as there is not always a clear distinction between when one’s mask, or certain elements of it, is on or off. Masking often begins as an automatic, unconscious process developed early on in life, so it can be confusing to even know where the mask begins and where it ends.

Why do People Mask?

Neurodivergent people are driven to mask by the need to keep themselves safe in a stigmatizing society. As autistic social psychologist Devon Price states, “A lot of us receive social input, our whole lives, that there's something off about us.” Many neurodivergent people have experienced ostracization because of their differences, both directly by others' mocking, cruelty, and distancing, and from witnessing what is generally accepted and not accepted by our society.

Beyond social survival, neurodivergents may also mask to avoid other threats to their safety. People with access to power and resources, such as those in law enforcement, in control of a child’s home placement, or managing one’s employment, may misinterpret neurodivergent behaviors negatively–which can have drastic consequences. As autistic content creator Chris Gad states, he needs people to be comfortable with him. “If I shift or stim too much, you might think I have a drug problem. If I ask too many questions, people think I don’t understand…there is a very real threat to my well-being for being too different.” 

Women, people of color, and LGBTQIA+ people may especially feel the need to mask due to having other marginalized identities. Writer, editor, and activist N.I. Nicholson reflects on the very real need to mask to stay safe as a Black Autistic transgender person when he notes, "I strive to never have a meltdown in public, because for me, it could mean the difference between freedom and incarceration.”

The Cost of Masking

While some level of adaptation is beneficial for humans to connect, denying who you are and having to pretend to be someone you are not comes at a cost. Studies have found that routinely masking neurodivergent traits increases stress and anxiety, depression, exhaustion, and suicidal thoughts. People may feel a loss of identity, no longer feeling that they know who they are after suppressing their interests and traits for so long. Masking is also a key contributor to autistic burnout, defined as a "state of incapacitation, exhaustion, and distress in every area of life." The need to act like a neurotypical person, push down behaviors that help release stress and regulate emotions, and suppress reactions to distressing sensory input can be overwhelming, leading to a person shutting down and being unable to engage in their daily life.

Masking is a complex topic, with this blog only scratching the surface. We hope you will stay tuned for the next additions to this three-part series, where we will discuss how these masks develop over time, how to find value in the person under the mask, and strategies to safely and mindfully begin to unmask.

References

Autism masking: To blend or not to blend. Stanborough, Rebecca Joy. Healthline. March 10, 2021. https://www.healthline.com/health/autism/autism-masking

Autistic burnout: Defining, measuring, and understanding with Dr. Dora Raymaker. SMIL Autism Resources. November 19, 2020. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFixaliygnA&t=475s 

Autistic people and masking. Belcher, Hannah. National Autistic Society. July 7, 2022. https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/autistic-masking 

How "unmasking" leads to freedom for autistic and other neurodivergent people. Garcia, Eric & Keane, Meghan. NPR. April 18, 2022. https://www.npr.org/2022/04/14/1092869514/unmasking-autism-more-inclusive-world

Masking and mental health implications. Fede, Jacquelyn & Laurent, Amy. Neuroclastic. October 5, 2020. https://neuroclastic.com/masking-and-mental-health-implications/ 

What does a Black Autistic man look like? Nicholson, N.I. Autistic Self Advocacy Network. April 11, 2017. https://autisticadvocacy.org/2017/04/what-does-a-black-autistic-man-look-like/ 

Why do you mask? Gad, Chris. TikTok. July 21, 2023. https://www.tiktok.com/@genericartdad/video/7258449934268075310?lang=en